It's been four days since I've been officially out of work. A huge amount of emotion has run through me. Strangely, I had many feelings of sadness due to leaving this job. Not because I love serving people at a restaurant. (or at my old place of work being their actual servant!) I think I mourned the loss of community. Now, every day I'm by myself. And while I definitely crave more alone time to be productive, I'll also miss being a part of something bigger than myself. Of course, this is the time to create something NEW to be a part of that is bigger than myself! But that leads me to my next fear... how do I do that???
Today is another day of meditation and enlightenment! And what better place to do this than at DISNEY WORLD?? That's right. I'm in Florida with my family for the next week tapping into my inner child. (Not that that's too hard. I'm pretty much a goofball all the time!) So when I sat down to do day 16 of my meditation challenge Desire and Destiny it seemed perfect that the centering thought was, "Bliss be my guide." Uhhhh if I can't find bliss at Disney World then my problems are more serious than I thought.
Today is Day 11 of my 21 day challenge. If you're new I'm doing Deepak Chopra and Oprah's meditation Desire and Destiny. (And go back and read the other posts to catch up!) Today's centering thought is, "I create my reality." Now before all you non-believers jump in and say, "Everything is random, look at Hurricane Irma, are you saying those people created their reality?" Or super religious peeps chime in with, "Blasphemy! God creates our reality. Do you think you're God?" I have to let you know that I agree with ALL of you.
First, I want to say I'm sorry for not posting yesterday. I made a promise that I would do at least 21 posts in 21 days of this meditation practice. It looks like I'm going to finish in 22 days instead because yes, I failed you and did not meditate yesterday. I know! Judge me if you will. I'm like a politician breaking his vows within the first 100 days, except in my case I only made it 10 (In the words of Homer Simpson, "D'oh!" ) In my defense, I'm going through a difficult situation in my personal life at the moment (I'm not ready to talk about it yet, but I promise I will!) and needed to have a girls' night of champagne cocktails and seeing Ingrid Goes West (which I HIGHLY recommend) to get my mind off of my self-wallowing misery. (Plus it's dark in the movie theater and I had really bad raccoon eyes.)
The POINT today is focusing on what we TRULY want and following our intuition. Supposedly, as we continue to meditate, the still, small voice within will get louder and louder until we know what to do. This morning, during my meditation, my inner voice must have been asleep because the only guidance I got was that I should run a couple miles after work to burn off all the crap I'd eaten last night at The Cheesecake Factory. BUT I have had some experiences with intuition in the past.
Today is Day 8 of Deepak Chopra and Oprah's 21 Day meditation challenge Destiny and Desire... and already I want to quit. Let me explain. I LOVE doing this blog. But I grossly underestimated the time it would take getting it up and running. It's one thing if I just have to write something witty and meaningful every day (which still takes me a good bit of time.) But I also really do these meditations, take notes, and research new classes and ways to explore the subject of enlightenment. So my schedule now includes getting up at 6am to do said meditations, go to work, get home, MAYBE do a work out or new class, write said blog, eat dinner, sleep, repeat. The two times I attempted something social (watching Bachelor in Paradise with friends and going out to dinner) I ended up being up 'til 1am finishing my blog post and STILL had to wake up at 6am. THEN I realized I had to advertise this thing somehow, and started posting on Instagram and researching social media. Which left me feeling one thing... achievement? No. EXHAUSTION.