The Ex Factor

February is all about love. We often celebrate loving a significant other, loving our friends, even loving ourselves. The one thing we never celebrate? Our exes. So, this day after Valentine’s Day, I would like to list my top five dating disasters and how they, thankfully, shaped my love life.

WARNING: The following is written with extreme sarcasm, but in good humor.

# 5: Thank you "Still Lives At Home with Mom" for embarrassing me at my 30th birthday. When the check came all of my friends paid for me... and I paid for you... because you didn't have any cash. You then also left early to get ready for your brother's birthday in Vegas, clearly the more important option. You taught me that if someone doesn't have time for me, then I don't have time for them.

#4: Thank you "Can't Hold My Liquor" for all those 3am phone calls to pick you up when you couldn't find your car. I especially loved when you wet the bed with me in it. You taught me that never wanting to grow up is not fun and exciting, but rather exhausting and damp.
 
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The One Where I Get Competitive (and not in a good way)

My best friend calls. She tells me she just booked an episode of “Nashville.” Wait. Not just one episode. TWO episodes.

On the outside I’m all “CONGRATULATIONS! I’m so excited for you!”

But on the inside I’m like, “FUUUUCCKK.” Because obviously now there are no more jobs for ME. Now the odds of my own acting career succeeding are as likely as Harvey Weinstein becoming a feminist and resurrecting his. Or my mother finally learning how to use an iPhone app. Both equally impossible. All pointing to my inevitable failure as a woman.

Because as women we are taught that there is never enough for us all. There’s always a competition. For jobs. For men. For a thinner waistline and an impossibly unproportional bootie to match. And why, with said proportions, do we have to compete with the likes of Kim Kardashian in order to “break the internet?” It’s not fair. Plus, I’m really bad with computers.

But what if there WAS enough? What if we could truly feel secure that there are so many jobs/men/sexy waistlines that we ALL can win?

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Share the Self Love

This post is different today! I was reading a couple blogs by my peers (See. I do know that on the path of enlightenment EVERYTHING can't just be about me.)  and I stumbled on a page by louisablog  that was not only well written and informative, but also contained a prayer that resonated so deeply with me that I had to share. (Especially since just yesterday I was exploring how to restructure prayer!)

I hope this prayer awakens your own self love (cellulite thighs included) and inspires you to share that love today. And so it is!

SELF LOVE PRAYER