February is all about love. We often celebrate loving a significant other, loving our friends, even loving ourselves. The one thing we never celebrate? Our exes. So, this day after Valentine’s Day, I would like to list my top five dating disasters and how they, thankfully, shaped my love life.
WARNING: The following is written with extreme sarcasm, but in good humor.
# 5: Thank you "Still Lives At Home with Mom" for embarrassing me at my 30th birthday. When the check came all of my friends paid for me... and I paid for you... because you didn't have any cash. You then also left early to get ready for your brother's birthday in Vegas, clearly the more important option. You taught me that if someone doesn't have time for me, then I don't have time for them.
#4: Thank you "Can't Hold My Liquor" for all those 3am phone calls to pick you up when you couldn't find your car. I especially loved when you wet the bed with me in it. You taught me that never wanting to grow up is not fun and exciting, but rather exhausting and damp.
There's a new hashtag on Instagram. #TreatYoself. First, I reread that about four different times to make sure it wasn't, in fact, TREAT YOURSELF. Nope, apparently, I'm just not cool enough to drop the U. Millennials. Sigh.
In this day and age of #yolo, (You Only Live Once for those of you Millennial acronym impaired) have we actually gone too far with the treating ourselves? How much is good self care and how much is irresponsibly draining our bank accounts?
The first thing I noticed when I visited the #treatyoself page on Instagram were a lot of pictures of food. Truffle fries, donuts, and chocolate stuffed pancakes, oh my! Wait. Where were those chocolate stuffed pancakes from? Because they looked BOMB. I think a little decadent food every now and then is a great way to treat yourself. I can tell you that a good night of music and cooking at home with a good bottle of wine and fresh produce is one of the BEST things I can do to treat myself. The problem for me is knowing when to draw the line. Because it may be "treating myself" to buy that $70 bottle of wine I've always wanted to try, but will it still be treating myself if I can't pay rent at the end of the month?
I also wanted to explore other ways that I could treat myself. Like I said, I saw a lot of pictures of food on that Instagram page. I also saw a lot of travel pics. But what are a couple simple ways that I can treat myself in day to day life?
I was recently given a writing assignment... about thrift shopping for your wardrobe on a budget. Not meditation, not spirituality, not even food. Thrifting. The word Pinterest was mentioned in the same sentence. I immediately went into a panic. Me? First of all, I'm not that artsy, girly type. And, well, budgeting isn't exactly … Continue reading Facing My Fear… of Thrifting
It was my birthday on June 27th. Yes, two days ago I turned 35. And I will admit it was a little weird. It felt like the first one where the words OLD ran through my head, or well, hobbled with a walker. But it got me thinking, in a world where everyone is perpetually … Continue reading The One Where I Turn 35… and Don’t Lie About It
I’m excited to share that I got one of my articles on women and competition published in “Sugarzine”, an online magazine out of the Baltimore/DC area that focuses on women, their careers, and stabilizing what goes on inside these crazy heads of ours! Click on this link to check out the magazine and my article … Continue reading That Time I Got an Article Published
My best friend calls. She tells me she just booked an episode of “Nashville.” Wait. Not just one episode. TWO episodes.
On the outside I’m all “CONGRATULATIONS! I’m so excited for you!”
But on the inside I’m like, “FUUUUCCKK.” Because obviously now there are no more jobs for ME. Now the odds of my own acting career succeeding are as likely as Harvey Weinstein becoming a feminist and resurrecting his. Or my mother finally learning how to use an iPhone app. Both equally impossible. All pointing to my inevitable failure as a woman.
Because as women we are taught that there is never enough for us all. There’s always a competition. For jobs. For men. For a thinner waistline and an impossibly unproportional bootie to match. And why, with said proportions, do we have to compete with the likes of Kim Kardashian in order to “break the internet?” It’s not fair. Plus, I’m really bad with computers.
But what if there WAS enough? What if we could truly feel secure that there are so many jobs/men/sexy waistlines that we ALL can win?