Sometimes we think it’s funny to complain. I mean I have a whole repertoire of jokes. Like this woman came up to me and said, “You know, I saw on Dr. Phil that if you don’t make it by the time you’re 30 as a woman in the entertainment business, then you’re NEVER gonna make it.” And I’m like, “Thanks, Mom.” Because I’m already 30… ish.
Everyone has a good laugh at my dad and his constant storm cloud of pessimism, earning him the nickname “Eeyeore” at work. He makes a joke about how nothing goes right when he’s there. Any sports game he goes to, team is gonna lose. In line for a ride at an amusement park, ride’s gonna break down. Whenever I finally get someone to marry me… uhhh Dad I’m starting to rethink this walking me down the aisle thing. (Joking! But we may have to take you to a energy shaman first. 😜)
I’m not saying never joke. That’s crazy talk. But I am saying maybe be more aware of what you’re feeding into your mind. For example, one of my oldest friends reached out to me after my time management post and said we could be schedule accountability partners. So every night before bed we write out our schedules for the following day and send them to each other. (Or wake up, see she sent her schedule, then frantically write mine out that morning to send back.) When I saw her schedule, which consisted of massive amounts of child care, meal prep, and nursing, with only TWO HOURS of adult time, my immediate reaction was, “Wow I’m a selfish, narcissistic shit.” I had a good chuckle to myself about how my biggest problems today were making sure I wrote out 20 marketing postcards to casting directors and trying to make it back in time from Jazz night for a midnight bed time. BUT am I sub consciously blocking my own success because I’m spoon feeding myself, “I’m a bad girl” soup?
I’m still reading Marianne Williamson’s “The Law of Divine Compensation” and she brings up one guy who actually does just that. He’s was a piano teacher in desperate need of a financial miracle, but when a job opened up at an educational institute he didn’t apply because he thought there would be too many politics involved in getting the job. Judgement set in, and the miracle was blocked. So, while I don’t actually think I’m a bad person, I think everyone has their own divine path, I DO “jokingly” tell myself what a mess I am on the regular. I even love to joke how I’m the older sister, but my little sister is the successful auditor with the huge savings while I’m the unemployed actor in L.A. And while I do think it’s very important to joke about hard times, (I truly believe that diffuses their power) I also think I need to make sure the words I’m feeding myself are more affirmatively positive, unless I want to keep seeing unemployed mess until I’m 60. And I don’t know WHAT Dr. Phil will have to say about THAT.
I’ve been writing about trying to find a job lately, so I want to point out one other thing in my reading that REALLY touched me. Marianne Williamson writes that we aren’t raised in a society that asks, “What are your gifts, and how can they make the world a better place?” We’re usually asked, “What will you do to make a living?” I relate to this so much because every day that goes by I stress myself out a little more, I tell myself I have to have that job to define me. This blocks my own miracle. But when I focus on my gifts, writing and acting, using comedy in both of those areas to bring loving lessons to (hopefully) many people (or at least more than 50), then naturally that energy will be brought back to me. And here is the quote from “The Divine Law of Compensation” that really blew my mind:
“DO SOMETHING NOT BECAUSE YOU THINK IT MIGHT MAKE MONEY; DO IT BECAUSE IT MAKES YOUR HEART SING.”
Chills. (And Marianne Williamson knows the proper usage of a semi colon. I wonder how many I’ve messed up so far.)
So along with my time management challenge, I’m adding a positivity aspect in. I need to work these miracles because I’m not unemployed. I’m a writer of this blog, and I’m an actor about to appear in two plays at INKfest.
Reading Marianne Williamson has also inspired me to go back to my roots. I first started my spiritual path five years ago when I went to her lecture on “A Course in Miracles.” So starting tomorrow I”m going to attempt to do daily video vlogs on each daily thought. I would love if you all joined me on this adventure. And please share any negative beliefs you’d like to flip the switch on to positive. Let’s do this together and make so many hearts sing we form a freaking choir!
And so it is.