The One Where I Get Competitive (and not in a good way)

My best friend calls. She tells me she just booked an episode of “Nashville.” Wait. Not just one episode. TWO episodes.

On the outside I’m all “CONGRATULATIONS! I’m so excited for you!”

But on the inside I’m like, “FUUUUCCKK.” Because obviously now there are no more jobs for ME. Now the odds of my own acting career succeeding are as likely as Harvey Weinstein becoming a feminist and resurrecting his. Or my mother finally learning how to use an iPhone app. Both equally impossible. All pointing to my inevitable failure as a woman.

Because as women we are taught that there is never enough for us all. There’s always a competition. For jobs. For men. For a thinner waistline and an impossibly unproportional bootie to match. And why, with said proportions, do we have to compete with the likes of Kim Kardashian in order to “break the internet?” It’s not fair. Plus, I’m really bad with computers.

But what if there WAS enough? What if we could truly feel secure that there are so many jobs/men/sexy waistlines that we ALL can win?

Enter a fellow woman, and one of my personal favorite powerhouses, Marianne Williamson and her book “The Law of Divine Compensation.” In it, she stresses the importance of putting love before profit. Because if we live in a world of love, scarcity doesn’t exist at all. In fact, she goes so far as to say that unloving thoughts actually sabotage our successes. So silently cursing your neighbor for getting engaged before you’ve managed to go on two consecutive dates, could actually inhibit your chances of meeting Mr. Right. Because you’re cementing that negative point of view into your perspective. We get what we expect, just like we get what we give. And we already know it’s like a 1 in 800 chance you get a good date from “Plenty of Fish.” Do you really want to make those odds 1 in a million? I didn’t think so.

So what do we do? We change our thinking. Any time your little ego brain wants to chime in with, “I don’t have enough talent.” Or “This world sucks because our President is orange.” Stop yourself and say, “Thank you for your opinion but I CAN do anything, and who doesn’t love a good spray tan?” Look. I’m not saying bad things don’t happen in this world. They do. What I am saying is that we can turn the situations around much faster if we change our attitudes and lead with thoughts of love instead of thoughts of hate. Or as Marianne Williamson so elegantly puts it:

“SPIRITUAL GROWTH INVOLVES GIVING UP THE STORIES OF YOUR PAST SO THE UNIVERSE CAN WRITE A NEW ONE.”

So let’s write a new version of the situation with my friend. In the first one I really was happy for her, but I let the situation make me feel negative about myself. I was too old to ever make it in Show Business. My energy was drained and I felt bleak about my future. But in this new version I’m happy for her AND myself because this means it is possible to book a gig. If she can, so can I. And if Betty White can act in her 90’s, I’m a young spring chicken. Shoot, I might even need a parental guardian on set. Now I’m excited to work and anticipating grand possibilities.

Easy, right? All competition between women everywhere has ended. If it was that simple I’d have washboard abs after one pilates class at the gym. But your mind, like your quads, is a muscle. And it takes practice to see real change. But I have hope. Women are stepping up to the plate like never before. And so can you. The next time you’re tempted to say another girl doesn’t deserve what she’s earned, or wish her ill fortune on a venture, instead try thanking her for inspiring you to step up your own game and broadening your perspective on what’s possible. That’s the next kind of #MeToo I’d love to see.

And so it is.

2 thoughts on “The One Where I Get Competitive (and not in a good way)

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